Monday, August 4, 2014

Count Jeffrey Grimshaw- Rape is NOT a Joke! An Open Letter


Dear Count Jeffrey Grimshaw

I hear that you are an  Emmy winning television executive who finds rape/ sexual assault humorous. In fact not only did I hear this, I have seen it for myself on your Face book wall. This is the article you posted, and below are screen shots of subsequent comments you posted.


Count Grimshaw, disappointing as it is that a man of your standing would be so callous arrogant and misogynistic, it comes as no surprise. You see in my line of work I meet all kinds of misogynists, men whose hatred for women manifests in all sorts of hideous ways.  The ones who display their disdain for the feminine with the smug arrogance of privilege are the ones who are the worst. Mr. Grimshaw you can giggle and make fun of one of the worst crimes against women because you believe it is your right to do so, and you are able do so with impunity. You believe that your privilege insulates you from the basic rules of living in community with others in the world because if this were not the case you would not have posted this article and then proceed to ribald your friends with crass remarks shown here in these screen shots. Mr. Grimshaw you do not even have common decency to apologize to the woman who calls you out on your disgusting behavior, but instead you big up your sidekick who proceeds to ridicule the woman. To the man who writes that you should be ashamed of yourself and gives you an ultimatum to apologize and remove the post, you write: Challenge accepted. This is where your utter disrespect for women is in full display and totally nauseating. That you view the request for an apology as a game, a wager, typifies the levity with which you treat the sexual assault of a woman and perhaps all women.

You state in one comment that it is the circumstances that you find giggle- worthy. The circumstances are that a young woman was sexually assaulted in her sleep on a plane, by another male whose privilege- based sense of entitlement allowed him to molest a sleeping woman. He, like you, believed he would get away with it and for a couple of years it looked like he would. Like you, he thought nothing of the trauma and untold pain that comes with being violated. he gave no thought to the shame, guilt and physical and mental health issues that would be spawned by his singular. Who knows, maybe he did think of these things and perhaps it was his intention to cause harm. But even if it was not his intention, the fact that he crossed the boundary of integrity and common decency to put his hand into her panties and fondle her, shows a level of depravity, similar to yours as you continue to giggle at the “circumstances” of this story. The circumstances are that she was crying and visibly shaking as she recounted what happened to the stewardesses. This doesn’t move you to empathy but you giggle instead. Sexual assault is NOT funny Mr. Grimshaw. NOTHING about this situation is even remotely funny and your lack of compassion for the women asking you to end this thread is despicable. You, sir, are a huge part of the problem women face on a daily basis as we go about our lives. You are part of the cat- calling, slut-shaming, locker room smack-talking culture that diminishes women's self worth by objectifying them. Men like you who laugh at women being assaulted are part of the reason the problem of sexual assault, rape, beating and ultimately femicide are happening at alarming rates world- wide. People like you assist in the normalization of rape/ sexual assault and the idea that women’s bodies are playthings for men or battle fields upon which wars for minerals, territory and the protection of fragile male egos are waged.

To put it into a more global perspective for you Mr. Grimshaw, I in 3 women will be beaten or raped/ assaulted in her life time. That is one billion women on this planet. Those are UN statistics and cases are probably under reported. Probably 50% of women on this planet have experienced some form of gender- based violence. Also just to enlighten you a bit on what is going on around the world regarding violence against women: In South Africa, many lesbians live in fear of being gang raped in a horrible practice called corrective rape. In parts of India women do not venture outside for fear of gangs of marauders who roam the streets looking for women to rape. In the United States army, women are sexually assaulted and victimized further when they report the incidences to higher ranking officers. In colleges and universities in the United States, women are assaulted with impunity and many are advised not to press charges because all the institutions seem to care about is their reputation and how any stories of sexual assault on their campuses may affect enrolment. Babies as young as 2 months are raped, children are trafficked for sex and subjected to untold horrors at the hands of pedophiles, old women in their 80’s have their bones shattered by brutes so vile that they will rape the elderly. In Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, United Kingdom, Italy, Nigeria, and every single country in the world, women are violated with impunity.  And it is in this mess that you decide to make jokes about a woman who was assaulted. You state that your wife was assaulted and that she giggled when you showed her the story. Well that does not legitimize your behavior and neither does it erase the pain that your post has caused many survivors of rape and sexual assault. Posts like yours can result in triggering in women who have been assaulted causing them to relive the pain of the assault. This can be debilitating for many survivors particularly if the comments trivialize the assault and make a mockery of the victim. Posts like yours may also cause women not to report assault for fear of ridicule if the story gets to the media. Imagine how this young woman feels if she has seen your post, which is possible since it has been up for over 24 hours and you continue to post horrible comments.

On a more personal note Mr. Grimshaw: How would you feel if the women in your life were fingered by a pervert on a flight to somewhere while they slept? How would you feel if your daughter, sister or aunt came to you quivering like a leaf. to tell you that a total stranger had molested them? Would you giggle then, and tell them to get over it; that the "circumstances" are what you were finding funny? How then would you proceed to explain what the "circumstances" were? These circumstances that were so hilarious that you overlook the hurt and tears in their eyes? Do you get it at all, My. Grimshaw? Do you understand how totally and utterly wrong your so called joke is?
Mr. Grimshaw I have no expectation that an apology from someone like you will be sincere. Men like you don’t apologize. You make excuses for your mean –spirited attempt at humor. You have stated that you do not care and if laughing at the “circumstances” of this assault makes you a misogynist then so be it. Well, you are a misogynist, an arrogant, insensitive individual with absolutely no Ubuntu (look it up). Be that as it may I do ask- like others have asked of you several times already-   that you apologize to all the women who have been hurt by your post. You have taken it down but only because you were given an ultimatum. You owe women an apology.

 What I expect will happen is that this letter will go viral on social media and you will become famous for these admirable qualities you embody and so flagrantly flaunt. I expect your colleagues and family members will see this too and be very proud of your work in the last 24 hours.

I hope that women who have seen your nastiness and have been affected by it may get some measure of comfort when they see that there are people who will stand up for what is right and call out people like you. Men who think rape and sexual assault of women is funny are perpetrators. I put it to you that if you are able to find humor in the violation of another you are capable of violating. Think about that Count Grimshaw and if you truly cannot connect all the dots on this issue, get help! Jason Jayology from Price of Silence, tank you for directing us to this issue. 

1 comment:

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